Decisions decisions... again

Here we go again! I find myself in a corner once more, pondering over a decision that I would have to make in a week's time. I dont even understand why I'd wanna poke into the lives of others, what spurred me on at that point of time to do so either! Sure, I knew what I was in for, I steeled myself mentally for the outcomes, I also thought about being some third party guy before, and I was pretty confident of it! Even tried to plan out nice things that could happen. But then again, who am I? Some hero come down from the sky to rescue some damsel in some love distress? Somehow along the way I think I forgot to consider one simple fact being : What if she didn't WANT any rescuing, or a way out? What she just wants to drown in her pool of sweet sorrow, because it might be much simpler to do so than to get out of it and find maybe find something better. What am I? A Solution to all the world's problems? The cure for every disease on this earth? Of all the things I considered, I guess I forgot to consider my own feelings for that matter too! Especially when she told me in point-blank about the guy she fancied, and oh wow, how she described it! With great passion and detail right down to the man's very eyebrows. And then I realise that at the same time this was what I was looking for all along, this fierce devotion i dont see in most people, and OH how I have searched for it. This is precisely what drew me to her in the first place. Then suddenly it dawned on me as I was overcome in this funny feeling that hey, that devotion doesn't belong to you man, it's for someone else. And then it struck me that I really didn't know what to do about it, how to obtain it, which somehow seems much more difficult to reach than I once thought. Like something on a tall shelf! Which doesn't seem very high from far, but when you actually get close you realise you need a really tall chair. And If you fall, it's going to hurt really bad. For the first time in a long while I felt a little heartache, but why should I? I don't understand. But i just felt a light touch of jealousy on my shoulder as I compared my current state with his. But it's not anybody's fault. After right now, who am I to her? Just a voice on the internet. He's worked with her for months. I thought it'd be easy to bear... but apparantly it's not. God I need to think carefully about what I'm doing. But for now, I'm just going to drown in the music

Paces

Nothing beats an off day at home. But nothing TRULY beats an OFF day from topshop on a SATURDAY NIGHT when there's a dahm end-season SALE going on woohooooo. Seriously, all it takes is a big signboard with the four letter word S-A-L-E to gather women like bees to honey, and watch them grow a set of horns above their heads. And all of a sudden they start zipping around the place at inhuman speed, tearing through your clothing racks with supernatural strength and everything flies onto the floor. Then as you bend down to pick it all up, SOME even have the cheek to dump their unwated clothes onto your already full hands! My god where's the gun when you need one HAHA! But well, staying home on a weekend truly brings about mixed feelings. On one hand I'm glad to be able to rest my feet from all the standing for 6 days straight and taking a break from seeing so many faces everyday, but then again, Why am i spending it at home alone haha? Haven't I done that enough for the past 2 months already? Man i cant even remember when's the last time i went out with someone! Apart from the Thailand trip that is haha! Anyways, I only realised this just yesterday after I agreed to accompany my Topman work-mate to town for a look-see, and then she asks, "So you were planning to go to town, ALONE?", I went "Yeah, why?", "Why must you behave until so emo like that? Ask your friends out lah!" Then I thought for a moment and said, "Well they're busy what!" Or at least I assumed. I mean sure there are my close friends but somehow I just dont feel particularly compelled to ask them out for anything. There are my army mates and work-mates, but likewise! I dont feel particularly compelled to ask them out either unless there's some important event! Which is pretty contradictatory at the end of the day when I'm asking myself why can't i find someone I wanna go out with! Maybe it's because we usually do the same things when we go out as a group? Or maybe I'm just looking and hoping for a specific person I don't know haha! Or I've grown so accustomed to going out on my own I actually prefer it! Nobody to come and bug me to do this and that, I can go wherever I want, no need to worry about the other person's preferences... can stay inside one shop for HOURS for all i care. Awesome. Then the more i start talking like that the more i feel like slapping myself HAHA! Who wants to be truly alone!

Anyhow I spent most of my day in the pool! Swam for about 4 hours straight, running on just a slice of bread, milo, a banana and a can of redbull. Thought about beating my old personal best of 4km in nonstop free-style (Which always helps to clear a cloudy mind!), But the catch about doing this long swims is that it takes ALOT of time, and i tend to get bored... really easily. By about the 8th lap I'm already thinking about whether i should just end this farce, go upstairs and grab myself a cup of sweet lemonade. THEN I try to distract myself by thinking about all the worldly issues I have! how to deal with em, and how to avoid certain others. Mostly it's daydream about things that could happen, and things that havent. Man I think I'm so good at imagining things sometimes I wonder if I'm truly living in reality or in my own fantasies. I can even imagine to the point whereby I'm in a blazer getting married! Have I gone nuts? Anyway I'm pretty suprised that for a public pool on a saturday? It wasn't packed at all! Compared to a sunday? Wow. Wont have to systematically dodge every man, woman and child, which can be pretty distracting. Oooh but towards the 40th lap I begin to feel myself getting... of all the feelings in the world, a little woozy! Kinda like I wanted to fall asleep underwater but my body's still moving! My eyes were somewhat half close, and my initial pace started to come close to a slow crawl... And my left arm felt like it wanted to come off anytime soon too! Jeez I've had it. I climbed out of the pool on the 50th lap, and then realised the biggest challenge next was to walk straight! God getting to my bags at the white tanning seat was even more tiring than i imagined! At least i accomplished what i came here to do today!

Man i wanna watch a movie with somebody

Underlying Feeling

Finally! The last time I'll ever close the shop at 11pm on the evening! No more of being the only shop still open at 10, and having to watch every other shop around you close (except MACDONALDS), and their employees all changed and ready to go home while you'll still stuck there saying "WELCOME", and "GOODBYE SEE YOU AGAIN" to them as they leave. Oooh the liberty. And here I am, home at last, all showered ready for bed, but somehow i just dont feel like sleeping just yet. Kind of like I have all these thoughts stuck in my head that i cant get out, when there's just nobody around to talk to! I don't have much to say to my closest mates actually, because honestly I think they've heard just about enough from me sometimes haha! Like same situation, same problem! You're still stuck in that same old well! When do you ever plan to climb out that kind of thing? And somehow I'm pretty tired of sharing my various hopes for the better with others already, like, why am i wasting time HOPING instead of doing or trying something that could potentially help, rather than imagine it to happen, out of thin air! Like take example if there's some girl I'm slowly trying go after at the moment! I'd find myself pretty often talking about how I hope things will turn out, and maybe I should try this this this, or that and that in the current situation, and I'm grateful for their opinions on the matter, like if something turned out funny they'd say, "Oh maybe she's just shy no worries... it's not you", But yeah i mean I'm afraid I'm so well aware of reality that i know it's all just meant to make me feel better! But thanks nonetheless guys haha! But at the end of the day their opinions might not be the same as that of the MAIN SUBJECT itself! So it's puzzling! Like I will never know if I'm doing something really WRONG or if I'm really on the right path on my own. So it's all trial and error for now I guess! It feels somehow remarkably exciting and thrilling in it's own way, like "Ooooh-here's-that-long-awaited-chance you've been looking for! Waited for dunno how many blue moons already! Get to it!", But at the same time it's also incredibly frightening, "Man if I screw this up again... what am i going to do! Finding a suitable one is hard and took long enough! I can't screw this up." Sure that's easy to say! But then "Wait... how do i not screw this up? I don't know. Perfect. I simply dont know ANYTHING about not screwing up. Do I remember anything about being successful even once? No, and no that one time doesn't count - AT ALL! All I remember are all the perfect screw-ups I've had over the years a 20 year old can possibly have." So yeah you basically get the idea! And worst of all is the thought that keeps screaming in the back of my head "I don't want to become a creep! Not like the others!! But how?" I feel like I'm about to jump into a big bucket of ice! STILL, I really have to keep encouraging myself to try try try try try. Try first! See how it goes, good or bad, take it or leave it. But to find the courage is tough. Ever had those long moments (usually in the afternoon!) to ponder over whether you should do something or not before you actually carry it out? Yeah wow, how often it happens to me man. Yet I've finally found a strange way of gaining ABIT more courage to do it. So strange it is, it's actually going for a work-out! Whether it's running till I'm dying on the side of the treadmill of stomach cramps and panting like a fish out of water, working those gym weights for the whole afternoon and gratifying all the pain, or swimming as if I've been dropped in the middle of the ocean, and Singapore's many many miles away! Because at the end of it, you get some sort of Euphoria from exerting yourself, especially if you've just worked past your limit, broke a personal best, and when the body's recovering it starts feeding you the feel good sensation, satisfaction! And that's where the confidence comes! Sadly to say haha! that I HAVE specially made a decision after a whole day at gym, and another after a 4km swim! Of course there were many others, but these two were particularly significant! But somehow dont you just wonder after you've made those decisions, are they the right ones? HAHA oh well. These problems will never end. I'll just have to keep trying. And since there's no one online to share this with! I'll have to lay it all out on the blog, and that's why I'm here.

And wow! How do you actually MOVE someone, whom you already know has an interest probably elsewhere? Wonderful. Another problem I have to solve in time hahaha! Got to stay positive.

Opening your eyes

My reservist is done! I'm finally going back to my old workplace. Thankfully it wasn't TOO long, but just a right. A good enough break from the working world, with little to worry about, just myself and my performance. I can't talk much about what i went through the past 2 weeks, but it was one of the most mentally grueling two weeks I ever had! By Thursday morning my brain was so drained of useful input, if i took it out just to probably have a look it would resemble a miserable dry and flaky sponge. Yet at the end of the day they told me this course would really change the way i thought about the world if you get into it, and I'd say it really does. I look much deeper into what the people around me say, read in between the lines more often than not, suspect things more often than not even if i don't realize it or don't show it on my face. But I certainly need this to protect myself, for being relatively young, who can truly say you are ready for the outside world and some of the people outside? If there's one thing burned deep in my mind, is that people are never as simple as they look. Women especially, who truly knows what goes opn in their heads? Whether they're really being NICE to you... or behind your back there is truly another purpose... Thankfully I have already uncovered one so quickly before there was any real damage to anyone. I guess I have to be a little bit more careful with the next

Pick up the phone, pick up the phone

My life in a traditional Chinese family, Dad's all about money AND making the money, works late into the night everytime and it's not uncommon to find him asleep on the table, sofa or what not, just so he can later 'wake up' and catch his favourite 2am Taiwanese news. Mom's a housewife, cooks, nags all day long about how much food I'm wasting, plays mahjong every weekend, and steals all kinds of freebies from restaurants and hotels home. My sister and brother are both about 28, 27 respectively, and being the youngest of the lot, leaves me with a large age gap of about 6 - 7 years apart. It's no surprise that 4 of them are like minded, and I tend to think abit more radically, being in the supposed OTHER generation. Like my brother and sister would tend to keep quiet when they're given a good finger wagging, but you would not achieve the same result when it comes to me! There are many things I'm pretty good at doing at home, but keeping quiet I am not! Ever since I was young I always liked to talk back, especially when I'm REALLY not at fault! Because i think it's stupid getting canned for something you didn't do and be the silent victim! Then later flashing two big teary eyes "But i really never~~" But hey I really wasn't a problem child of any sort, I never got into fights, never smoked whatever, But still my mom was appalled. What kind of son is this? So unlike the other two! So one day she actually tried to send me to this... psychiatric counseller? Apparantly this guy was some sort of expert dealing with problematic kids blah blah blah. I remember walking into his room and seeing his huge wall decorated full with certificates, awards with long university names that would bring a deep pain to remember, his desk full of paper and metallic paperweights, and behind his desk were some photographs of himself, posing with many many different families and their supposed problematic kids, i remember one in particular he was posing with a kid who had a cap on and both of them giving a thumbs up, along with a $2 smile, wide and baring their teeth. Later heard one of the kids actually punched his own mom in the stomach. Below those photographs were WOW, huge big gift hampers (it was close to chinese new year then), Each littered with awesome tasty looking crackers, biscuits and candy, all the things a kid like me would fancy! And then the signature big round bottle of XO Martell on top. All lavishly decorating his floor. And the room had this strange musky smell, which kept giving me the impression that there was ginseng burning maybe under his table. Or maybe it was just his socks i dont know. He was a spectacled guy, wearing a white or grey buttoned shirt, and looked rather cheery, almost as if he saw pot of gold walking in. He greeted my mom first, politely, in that sort of gentlemanly way you would expect to find in James Bond movies, but no he did not kiss her hand or anything, if not I would have been pretty sure the Martell from the hamper would be the last thing he would ever kiss. Then he greeted me with the kiddish "hello~~", Honestly Im really glad I still had a conservative middle finger at that point of time? Otherwise we would REALLY have a problem. I think i practically ignored him or something, i donr remember saying much. I didn't like talking to strangers then. I just sat down where i was told two, one of the two chairs in front of his impressive teak desk. I don't really know why, but i just had the sudden thought that this guy's only out to impress parents, with all the decorations, everything on display, it struck me that his room was kind of like a little museum, and the whole set up was only to sell one thing, himself. And of course all the traditional aunties and moms really digged certs and awards and all that, even now! I was beginning to think this whole thing was a joke. So he asked me a few questions, all of it i couldn't remember, and I remember not saying much, and my mom was usually answering for me, then i would laugh sarcastically or something like that, and the doctor would look at me and smile or pass some other sarcastic comment, then i would just smile back. To tell the truth I dont think he did ANY convincing or anything of that sort, like break me down and telling me to try to be better that kind of thing, just... talked talked talked. It bored me immensely, and so i kept staring at his gift hampers. Thank the gods they were there! They made for fine entertainment. I mean why the hell would I wanna look at his certs? They don't make for fine reading. All i could see was this line across the middle of the page, and his name typed out in bold, before this huge signature at the bottom left corner and a gold seal on the right. Boring stuff. I prefered comics, or animal pictorials. So I scruntinized each box and packet of crackers and sweets carefully... Oooh I liked that one! yum yum. Oooh that one too! And my mind just drifted off into the wonders of taste ... before he asked me another question and i snapped right back into reality. By the end of the day I guess he accomplished nothing, my mom was not satisfied with anything either, and I just left the place with a constant nagging all the way to the family car. Wonder what was wrong with those other kids.

And now my family's worried about what I'm turning out to be, mostly it's just my appearance in general. When i got my left ear pierced last year, they literally flipped. Because well, no other guy in my family, all my cousins and such, ever even considered ear piercing. I mean it's a small thing to everyone else outside of course, just the EARS, whereas I have seen people piercing everything from the bellies, eyebrows, tongues and their (Ouchhhh!) nipples. When my relatives and uncles and aunts saw my pierced ear I dont know what they were truly thinking on the inside, but what they would say would generally be "Wahhh stylo ahhh", "Not bad, I like your modern... fashion sense." Honestly i think behind my back they would be telling my younger cousins "Better dont become like him ah, Better not to look at him also! Later you follow! He can, you cannot!", and honestly I sure hope none of them (the boys) ever do pierce. Because my pants will be sure catch fire. "YOU! YOU SEE LAH! YOU TAUGHT MY SON!" Well i believe everyone has a choice in what they do! but well, just unlucky I'd be the first one in the whole big family, for BOTH sides mom and dad's, to pierce the ears. And no need to say when i got my second one slightly higher up the ear (but i rarely use anymore), they almost wanted to kick me out of the house haha! Ah what a funny sight. Next came the lines on my hair on the left side. First there were two, then came three, and now there's about 7. Each time I'm trying something new. And now my mom's super convinced that for every crime committed in singapore I'm sure die die going to get called in for questioning. Even if i were MILES away from the crime scene. They'd just pull me in because of the lines on the left side of my head. So i told her if that's the case maybe I'll consider bandaging the left side of my head each time I go out. But of course not what the hell! Finally came the time when i printed some tattoo images i found on google, because i really LOVED the art, and i thought why not i just pencil out a few myself, to see if I could draw too. And when my dad saw those pictures. He flipped. " (in chinese) You're not really considering getting a tattoo are you son?!", "Ah no lah i just want to draw...", "Eh i tell you ah! dont be crazy ah! Tattoo put already cannot take out one know! so ugly.", "EHHH HELLO My hand itchy i just want to draw something lah! ART.", "You dont art art art! Later you get hooked and you really want to get one!", then FML, mom walks by "YOU AH! WANT TO GET TATTOO AH?!" Well anyway the result of that small encounter is on facebook! Finally drew a decent fish! One of the few things i was actually proud of! Probably my best art so far too!

Disappointment?

Oh christ sweet jesus, mother of buddha! Is my luck really that bad in life? Once again I have failed my stupid driving test, Then of course I'd have a thousand reasons to say why i shouldn't have failed, and then I'll be bombarded with another thousand reasons why i should have rightfully failed blah blah blah, honestly I grow weary of it all, so I'm going to have to put it all out of mind for the moment. No major mistakes for me today, no immediate failures, It wasn't perfect, but I was pretty sure it was the best i could have given, in and out of the circuit. 4 lessons learning a whole new vehicle would have pretty much paid off if I passed, all those little paper notes i wrote at home for the new vehicle should have pretty much reminded me of the differences from the Honda VTI. Still I guess that won't be enough, especially with a tester who just loves picks on every nitty gritty detail of the car. Ooooh if you wanna kill me please just do it with a huge knife and a big clean stab into the chest, why'd you have to go through the big trouble of getting a really tiny one, then slowly cutting and sawing in a zig zag manner through the flesh? He gave me every tiny mistake possible, half of it solely came from mirrors. Mirrors mirrors mirrors. How can i possibly do a lane change or turn without using my mirrors even once. Maybe my head wasn't moving enough or something! I'll be sure to do a 360 turn the next time round. Sure some of the mistakes i made are definitely justifiable, but seriously all the mirrors one? My mirrors itself amounted about 16 points. The next dumbest one was my handbrake on the slope. I moved off after releasing the handbrake, and i kept forgetting that the JAZZ model makes amazing handbrakes and included this annoying beeping sensor to it too. I released it, but apparantely it wasn't flat enough into the dock, so as i went down the slope it just went *deet deet deet*, and i was knew what that was so i quickly released it somemore. But wow really ruthless, gave me points for that too. Added with the rest, wow high score! 32. I have never hit so high in my life. The previous test i had one immediate, but still amounted only 18. In other words I was screwed from the very beginning meeting this guy. Sure enough talking to a friend (who already passed!), she got the exact same dude, saaaameee problem, failed all because of the bloody mirrors and high score. Am i fed up? Yeah i suppose so, After starving myself on crap for about 2 months to cover the lesson fees and the test fees, having practically no life and staying home most of the time on my off days, only to have it thrown into the bin, how can i not be the least bit unhappy even if I tried to be? I could put on the haha-face to everyone i met, but it will never hide my true feelings inside. My only comfort is that well, at least this time it didn't feel half as bad as the last time, though it sure as hell ruined my day, and that eventually it will be put out of my mind. I still have my two legs, I can still walk around, and i guess i wont have to snatch dad's car anytime soon. I will probably become the butt joke of my mates if they found out, i mean sure, they can laugh long at hard at me, And I will always get into this mini-depression mode that lasts for about a day or two, before finally this put on the similar strong-fronted mask no matter how unhappy or upset i get and hide all the emotions. I may fail time and time again, but I will never ever appear to be weak in front of others again. That is a big mistake any man can make.

Still it kind of bothers me, with all this silly issues in life. Firstly it's the money, Do i really want to go through another month or so of lifelessness? JUST so i can get that license, my own supposed ticket to being an adult? Or should i just give it up for now, and return to it probably in the near future, when perhaps everything is more or less stabilized, and when i have a proper career and stuff. Would it be better then? I know the only way i can continue this farce is to stick out my hand in front of my dad and ask him for more money, but what the hell would that prove. Im already working so why on heaven and earth should i take money from him, except when school starts of course. So probably no, but then again it's quite a fool's notion to give up after so long, and I HATE giving up, on anything (except maybe on certain people), I'd sooner die than face a loss. Like wow i've come all this way, So close to passing, then I'm quitting. Course It'd be simpler to decide if the whole test is FREE. But it's not, it's $156 each time for booking a test, and a $238 for 4 lessons. That money isn't coming out of my CPF, It's coming out of my ever-bleeding savings account, my lifeblood, my life. I put in alot of effort working 6 days a week, and overtiming in Topshop last month, just to get some extra cash to spend, and at the same time save up. I'm not about to bleed all of that away for some drive around I can enjoy better on a PS3. Somehow I begin to realise alot from this, about being an adult. It isn't simply about getting a job, getting a girlfriend, getting money, etc etc. It's all about these hundreds and thousands of choices. Which one is right which one seems wrong, and at the end of the day the real problem is which one to pick. And it's not a "yes" or "no" thing, It's more like "Yes, BUT .... " and "No, but then..." God these things are really giving me problems in the head.

And the other thing i realise about myelf and things around me is: Everyone can do it the first time, most probably by the second time, and they can do it for more or less everything, but noooo I can't, I have to do it again and again and again and again till I finally succeed. My only comforting thought? Is that when I succeed (after very very long), I tend to be slightly better than the rest, that said, without ego or hubris included. But man do i really have to stumble for then, fall and fall, like, how many times do i have to scrape my knees before I accomplish something. People can climb up to the top of the hill unscathed, and I always have to go up bloody with tattered clothes and a walking stick to go along with it. The whole concept of this problem is that when people finally reach the top of THAT hill, the still have the strength to speak and look good, they can give good advice, blah blah blah. When I'm finally up there, and when I speak with a mouth full of broken teeth? Who the HELL is gonna be interested in listening to this old man blabber some 3 cents worth? I cant look good either, and neither would I be as credible. And when we're both off to a next new task, lets say another hill, To him it's just another climb, to me it's the whole fall all over again. Gonna to roll down this hill first, before i climb on 4's up the next. Oh come on god, or whoever's up there on that mighty white seat that could easily pass off as a toilet bowl, I know I have an almost supernatural patience, a stronger will than my 2 other siblings and than most people I know, I can take more hits than some people too, I can take pain, Hell i think i might even be able to give birth too! But is all that PAIN necessary for me? Just because i can take doesn't mean I WANT it. Like if i can help it, why not move my foot away before it gets stepped on? Why can't i get everything right on the first try, and not through all the trial and errors in life? This isn't just driving man, it's close to everything. Studies, work, sports. Even woo-ing people is a big pain in the ass for me. Maybe it's something about myself I have to look further into as i grow, Then maybe i can change the way things turn out. Oh boy, for now, I just really hope for my luck to turn for the better. My ship's been in stormy waters long enough, and the sky can only hold that much rain. It has to end soon.

Electric Hazeee

Yup, I picked up the remote, and pressed the pause button on my day job for now. Goodbye Marina Square, goodbye Topshop, Goodbye ugly black hangers that never cease to fall all over the floor, goodbye to the ugly smelly knickers, I hate arranging you over and over again! And lastly goodbye to the SHOPFLOOR! No need to clean you anymore wooohoooo! But stay clean always yeah? I'd hate to have to scrub you again.

Waking up knowing you can slowly climb out of your bed, eyes still closed even, is simply awesome in small doses. No need to rush to the toilet and get read, no need to pack the food, no need to walk 15 minutes just to get to the MRT, Then no need to be all sweaty and squeeze with other sweaty people on board, no need to worry if my goddahm EZ LINK card need to top up $10 again or not! OOOH think i'll just lie on the floor for abit more... mmmm... okay now to the bathroom. I can lie somemore in there...

I'm back to driving lessons once more, and after so long of not PROPERLY driving the dahm thing, I seem to have forgotten most of everything. Plus I'm learning and taking the test with a new car now! Awesome... wonder how many times my car kept stalling on the stupid slope becuase I'm not used to the biting point. My tester is so going to love this. Stupid Taxi die die didn't wanna give way to me today also, even when I'm changing lane halfway already, bugger just sped forward. I swear if My left hand wasn't changing gears i would have thrown something out the window. Mmmm am I turning into an ANGRY driver? Let's hope not. But today just wasn't smooth, itty bitty mistakes here and there. And when's my test? lets just say it's the day... after tomorrow. AWESOME. I'm so confident right now, I'm gonna do it with a blindfold. Wonder if i should show the tester that i drive equally well on the grass and on the road. I know I probably should get it done and over with now! But still, ah boy. You gotta hate these dahm tests. And TOUGH luck. Maybe i should follow a friend of mine, go temple and pray for some AWESOME road conditions, good weather, NICE tester etc etc... And just nice there's one at the side of BBDC, CONVENIENT. I shall pray to that big sexy golden statue towering the whole place before i drive out! Hope it works!

Mussels for Muscles and Oysters for eyes

SALES. IS. KILLING. ME. Ughhh that plus an impending cold that's constantly knocking on my door, asking me to let it in. But I won't! But that goddahm virus is making me feel extra cold after meals and during work, so much so sometimes i find myself shivering for no good reason. And just how much do women worship SALES seriously OMG. When i opened the shop yesterday and today, it didn't take longer than 5 seconds for people to start rushing in and sifting through my racks of clothes! "Shuck-Shuuuuck" And "Plunk---!" Bloody hell use hand to move clothes also need so much force that my hanger fly into the sky wah piang eh. Auntie ah Auntie no one to steal your size 16 from you why you worry? And I dont know what these people step on nowadays, all that CRAP just gets stuck to my floor and i have a hard time trying to mop them out. And when i do, and it's a little wet, more of those pesky long-haired, sale-hungry wenches come in through the door and step all over my hard work! Back to square one... mop mop mop. Then some auntie decides not to look at the floor even once to check if it's wet or not, and while on top does a 360 degree ballet turn, then walks zig zag across my wet floor. Fuck man, I put OIL on the floor then you know! YES cleaniness is my code, my imperative! I cannot stand the very shop I'm working for being looked upon as filthy and inaccessible, I like my shop to be pleasing to the human EYES! That is why I clean Topshop Marina Square with a fierce passion unlike any other. Who cares about the slightly bad sales? Or some of the bossy pricks that walk through? They are stepping on my floor and using my goddahm fitting rooms, and as long as I am here, I'm going to make this the CLEANEST topshop, ever. And by the way it's just Topshop. Topman... you all settle yourself wahahaha! Since you all always so free can stand by the counter shake leg huaha!

5 more days in Topshop before I before my short career break. A breath of fresh air, and a breath of the old one too. It'll be back to pasir laba camp, back to my home, my recreational room, my 12pm pool sessions in the mess with my mates! My old unit, and to be greeted by my new one! which is thankfully house just one block away oh gosh. It'll be fun definitely. CLUBBING on wednesdays if I can help it! I sure hope not much has changed with them, be really good to see all of them again even though i orded barely just 3 months ago. Oh hope hope hope.

A look in the mirror

Woke up at 9am in the Morning, Feeling as if i were half drunk, but still managed to gather what remained of my wits to drag myself to the bathroom for a good cleanup! It's the usual end-of-the-week feeling i get on each off, as if, wow, haven't been working out for quite sometime hmmm! Time to get your ass off the couch boy, hit the gym, and do some running! Maybe get a swim too! Or so I told myself. Little did I know what's wrong with my body today. I just finished the sit up and i went onto the treadmill, confident as ever! For the first Kilometre i could still breathe through my nose perfectly without much effort, and while i was running my head was watching Channel new asia on a suspended tv set. Like so stylo, can watch tv and run. Chicks would just dig that BAHAHAH. But anyway as I hit 1.6km I started to feel this HUGE burning pain erupting from my stomach, I have never felt that before, but it was strong and unlike much of the pain you'd expect to experience after a run! I thought maybe i could get over it and continue, but then it started to get worse, and i capped myself off at 2km before i decided my body was a no-go for today. And the moment I stopped running! The small matchstick flame erupted into a forest fire. I could barely force myself to stand straight before hurrying myself into the toilet, where i finally couldn't bear with the pain any longer and just clutched my stomach in front of the sink. But no matter what I did the pain just wouldn't subside, so I just gripped my stomach tightly and held on for what seemed like dear life! OMG as if I had just been shot by a bullet or something, or some big bully just gave me an unforgivable punch in the abs, and there i was sprawled on the floor. Now I think I know what being a WOMAN with PERIOD actually feels like! Gosh that sucks. Took me about a good 25 minutes before i could stand up properly and walk out of the toilet. Dahm what is wrong with thy body? Guess I'll have to pass the swimming today. Even WALKING gave me the aches.

It's 16th May! And where is my SIM admission letter oh gosh. That's been keeping me on my toes for weeks, something which I've been really looking forward to and it has been keeping me on my toes. I would pretty much just love to have the confirmation! Like something to ease my mind off the many many different issues i already have. Ughh as if work isn't enough. But strangely work seems to be getting more and more bearable! Like my workplace is sort of my second home. I get uncomfortable without it, and I feel natural amongst the shelves and the racks of clothes, I laugh and joke about more with the other staff, and that pretty much makes my day. Time flies by really fast too! Probably because i have much MUCH deeper pockets than last month. Yet somehow, I feel i still need a breath of fresh air from all this work, like maybe a change of pace for a while, would be healthy.

Everyday I watch the Topshop/Topman staff at work, and everyday I listen to their tiny bickers, experience their small conflicts. And then I realise how hard it is not to get myself Involved in any of the disputes of unhappiness. How on earth can one simply not have an opinion of his own? Still I guess I shall choose to keep to myself and ignore everything that doesn't involve me, and it BETTER not involve me haha! Neither do I want to influence them in anyway, everybody has to learn to make decisions and choices, be it right or wrong. And they will only learn through the consequences. But honestly I think someone is beginning to step over the line... And if it gets too far, I might have to snap his neck. Still, lets not hope for that. I appreciate all my colleagues, I need all of them, and I would hate to sever our good work relations.

Conversing with my friends over dinner, I started to realise something about myself. My conversations are beginning to take on a more superficial stance. I talk about clothes more, I talk about fashion, dressing, other people's dressing etc etc. Stuff I dont usually talk about a year back. I talk about retail, buying things and what to get next, how I'm to save up next month to get what not, things that dont really matter in the big world out there. I'm becoming increasingly more vain, I bother more about looks than usual, and not my character. Gone are the days when I used to talk and sing of love, living, friends, going out etc etc, oh how I miss them. I dont want to get involved TOO deep into the fashion world, lest, like some real life examples I've seen, and whereby they can arrogantly proclaim their self-styled, 'unparalleled' fashion sense verbally and mentally, so much so that if you place a mirror before them, they would've forgotten what they used to look like before, and oblivious to what they looked like now. People tend to think about what they would think about themselves when they look in the mirror. But they tend to forget what others would think about them, and that is what really mattered. I dont want to have to "wake-up" from that kind of bad-dream, and when the self realisation starts to kick in it'll be painful. So I'm thinking maybe sometime away from Topshop/Topman would be nice, not permanently, but just some time away. What's the use of dressing up myself so nicely, yet I can't speak well, care about, or connect with others? I might as well replace one of the mannequins in the shop.

And here's a toast to your ever-dusty Love life Weiyu! Busy as you may be at work, and ever ignorant when you are doing so, may you STILL continue your search and find the right one for yourself! And good luck with that! Find not another tramp, harlot, vixen or a shrieking harpy. Find one whom you can connect your soul with, even if you weren't in a hurry to do so. YAM SENG.

Work as usual

It's 12th May! Still surviving! Still breathing and definitely feeling more alive than I did last month with my new pay, which leaves me more breathing space for choices and many many different motivations to get me through the month, like maybe getting something at the end of the week! Or hanging out with my friends for a movie, gaming, whatever! At least now I know my off days aren't gonna be spent stuck at home all the time! But if I actually WANT some savings, I still gotta save big time! Wouldn't wanna have holes in my pocket at the very last week like last month! What a joke.

Today some UK visitor is supposed to drop by Topshop and Topman for a look, that means the higher management is also coming down, and thus for the past 2 days I have done nothing on the shop floor except scrub the racks and shelves, scouring all manner of dirt and dust from the face of the earth! Frankly speaking most people would mistake me for a hired, cheap cleaner if not for my uniform and lanyard! All my 7 - 8 hours dedicated to cleaning, armed with a tiny pathetic pink and white checkered piece of cloth in one hand, a small green pail in the other, and a bottle of GIF stain remover. This shows how much it really PAYS to be an Ang Moh in singapore too. Just say you're coming, and the whole lot of us will scramble all over the place and tidy everything up for you. And when you finally appear, we will kiss your feet endlessly and worship you. Step into any room and you instantly become the centre of attraction! Way to go singapore! The place where things are done just to impress Ang Mohs. Anyhow i dont really bother if she thinks the shop looks like a pigsty, I'm not cleaning the shop for another 2 days after this seriously! I'm not all about scrubbing!

It's Payday!

I'm up early, I'm excited, the stuff I've been waiting for for MONTHS is finally within my grasp in a a few hours time! No more will I have to walk to work in a gloomy manner with my head hanging low, knowing I've got nothing to look forward to except... well, maybe MORE work to come. No more will I eat bread in a painful manner, wondering if it is all worth it, but with a great big sadistically SATISFIED smile! No more will I spend my days doing painful countdowns to this moment! Today onwards I shall walk on the CLOUDS, and display fierce ARROGANCE, unmatched and peerless, as I walk the streets! Today I will walk around with a golden crown studded with jewels on my head! And look down on all the other lesser-beings with such scorn that only SLAVES would receive! And wherever I go, a TRAIL OF FIRE WILL FOLLOW! And when I'm finally done dramatizing the whole day! I shall rest my head on my pillow, comfortably, knowing that the POSB account is finally safe and stabilized! (or actually just has some money inside!) And I don't care what you might think! If you happen to chance upon me on the streets, all you will get a firsthand glimpse of my impressive nostrils wahaha. And know that if this disgusts you in an impressive fashion, I don't really bother! Pathetic human scums.

MAYDAY

I'm beginning to enjoy working once again! Or at least, GOING to work. Because each day i work, time flies by, and I know I'm one step closer to the grand prize... I can walk on with my head high, and not a care in the world! So long as I always have someone to talk to! These few days are filled with mixed blessings, with each day getting more exciting than the next? Man I really don't know what to expect.

First off it's my amazing lunch-box theft case! I used to pack my food in plastic and paper bags to work, but they kept tearing, and to save myself those embarrasing moments of having to hug my food in an awkward manner all the way for the train ride, i reluctantly had to use my Red FILA shoe-bag to stuff it all in. It was a great idea! I mean so far so good! Nothing bad ever comes out of it, maybe only a slightly bad smell... Ooops! Anyway, just this one day I had to use the citilink loo for a quick piss, so i left my shoebag at the sink, specifically, BEHIND the hand drier so no one could see it from outside, and you'd have to really turn your head to the right upon entering to see it. I was done about 30 seconds, unzipping, zipping and all, and when i came out the shoebag was simply... gone! So fast! I checked with the cleaners outside, they said they didn't see it! Man even david copperfield couldn't do it that fast, he always had to make a 45 second long speech or hand gestures before he did anything! Stupid loser ran so fast with my shoebag that he probably didn't even think through what was in it! Just because it's, you know, heavy, abit out of shape, doesn't mean it has something expensive? Honestly I would love to see the guys face when he opens it. Inside, my water bottle, and my lunchbox for the day. So much for the adrenaline rush and anxiety to get away huh pal? All you get is a good deal of rice and chicken, courtesy of Momma-Chen. Yeah F-Y-L. Basket. Honestly what pisses me off the most is that, I'm trying to save money, and that's a nice decent meal i'm about to have in DAYS. I ate BREAD for DAYS. And just when i get RICE and CHICKEN hot from the Kitchen you steal it away! And not just that! I know you're not going to find it useful, and after you steal my good stuff, you're probably just gonna throw it away! THAT i cannot accept. That mofo had better tried to eat it at least. and EAT THE VEGETABLES! Christ how many times have i fantasized swinging a baseball bat into his imaginary face already, or drowning him in the toilet bowl. That'll really give me some satisfaction! And goddahm it it's my mom's favourite lunch box, which she reluctantly lent me that very day. I felt so bad, i had to call her on the phone to tell her her lunchbox got stolen. I'm going to hunt him down, seriously.

Anyway cut the hair today, my usual stylists out of town for two weeks! Gonna miss her, so today i got a cut from a new guy. It looks a little different from the usual fare, in terms of my fringe now being really short, and my sides looking better! Let's hope for the best in a few days time, now it's really nice, slick and tidy!

Then on my way to work, the very last part before i walked into Topshop, why did it so happen for me to get that sudden big blast from the past that was long overdue. That green bag slung over her shoulder? That untied, shoulder-length hair I was so familiar with once, over a year ago? That same empty look with the eyes all over the floor or the phone? That same empty look I had fooled myself into believing back then. That very face I have not seen for a year, and can barely even remember, yet it was unmistakable. Fortunately for me the moment passed so quickly I didn't have any time to react or decide to react. I just walked forward, onward to work, onward to my new life. And fortunately for me there was little for her to recognise me by, with my hair, and my shades and other tiny personal effects which pretty much contrasted what i looked like a year ago. And amazing for all the hatred, fear, and repulsion i imagined to have arose from that very moment all along, It never materialized. I just felt empty, nothing, only the need to be on time. Perhaps it wasn't worth the effort, perhaps it just didn't matter. But it was a strong reminder to myself to keep walking on, even with these bloodied feet. I know that I have moved on, And I will never look at the floor again. So much out there to see when you look forward.

TGIF

Today i opened my blogger to find that I'm signed in to another account! And it's a woman's picture in the profile! So in my head I was like "Who's this mad woman staring at me like that?", then a while later it's "Oh that's just my sister. Bah!" Finally the day before my off day! been waiting for this one, but somehow i knew it was gonna be quick! Time flies when you work actually, beats sitting at home alone with a stuffy mind full of things, like how i spend my off days (for now only hopefully!). Tomorrow if all is good, weather is fine, health and all is well, I'm gonna hit the Gym and swimming pool again for a good weekly maintenance! If I'm to look good in that you-know-what that I'm gonna buy on payday, I'm going to need that good shape! I don't believe I can't ever get better anymore, so right now I'm just going to focus on not getting any slimmer! And I've been itching to run and feel some pain all week, oooh can't wait. You must think I'm a muscle freak! I'm definitely not! But I just love to sweat. OH CANOEING! I so wanna try that someday please.

Came home to find my dad and brother having, yet another, heart to heart talk, regarding money again. Ooooh boy, I hate it whenever this happens, yet being the youngest in the family and respecting all of them, I usually just keep my mouth shut, and my opinions to myself. Which is bad, because i end up with so much bad taste in my mouth i start fuming myself. So now when it's not my problem, it suddenly is! Cursing and swearing under my breath at my brother and his ridiculous long list of excuses, and overused exaggerated lines to try and paint a little portrait of innocence? Oh come on, the truth is the more i hear it, the more i start to doubt him sometimes. Because he used the exact lines before, and then after that, TADAAAH, Melodrama, Dramatization, Ending credits, thank you for coming. Always like that. How many times has this cycle repeated? Does he barely even get a hint that all this actually affects his little brother? For his own sake i honestly hope he just wakes up! If not this time even I'M going give him some real shaking. Now he's even got the cheek to ask for a laptop for his uni-course which hasn't even started! God i havent even asked for mine, and now he's making his move? like whatever happened to all your past few laptops man, sold them away just to buy other stuff? Now you wanna get ANOTHER one, and not on your own? Honestly my dad's being tighter on his wallet more than ever, thanks to him, And i can't help feeling the slight irk of suspicion each time I ask for abit of money, even for the smallest of things, and honestly i can't stand it. Like I would ask my dad for money if I really didn't need it! Thankfully I finally have my OWN pay now that I'm working, being able to sustain myself is the best feeling ever! And i knew all allong i'd have to ask dad for a laptop before uni, because no matter how much I save these few months I just ain't gonna be able to get one myself! And I only planned to ask him after officially school starts and they start complaining why i dont have one! and NOW how the hell am I going to tell my dad he needs to buy not one, but TWO laptops. That's going cost a serious bomb for him. And if he really gets my brother a new one, I'm going to flip. Seriously, What i feel is, you have been given a laptop before, you screwed up not once, not twice, and now when it's finally my turn to get a chance at one, don't screw it up for me. Perhaps I should see if i can loan one. That'll ease all my problems. Well anyway! With that off my chest! I suppose I can have happier dreams tonight! Another problem for another day!

Strangely my dreams are getting weirder and weirder these days. I wonder if it's work, or my thoughts at work. I get dreams of paintings, photography, most artwork. Like i can dream myself painting a picture, arranging a set of props for a photoshoot, and how i would wanna shoot it, some with myself in it, some just of particular objects put together in an interesting manner. And the best part is I've never done either, so i wake up feeling kind of confused. Weiyu by day, Da Vinci by night? And sometimes i just get this FLOOD of ideas before i sleep about photography, so much so it PREVENTS me from sleeping. I would just spend hours in my head making dream adjustments of the props and things i visualize in my head, and click the "snap" button with invisible fingers. Whatever it is, I just hope I'm not going mad.

7th of Mayyyyy

Scrambled eggs with sausage... Mmmm just one of the few Midnight bites i usually have after work! when dinner's simply not enough! Add some olive oil to the pot, Dice a large bradwurst cheese sausage and throw it in, then break two eggs and beat them into a good creamy yellow before pouring it in as well, then mix the whole thing about, watch it sizzle, smells the good smell, and the hear the hungry stomach calling! Put it on a small plate and serve (YOURSELF!) with a cup of hot milo. WAH awesome. And so simple thank goodness. And i thank the HEAVENS again that I'll never ever get fat no matter what I try. Just one of those perk-me-ups after work! Got to keep myself strong and happy to keep moving... come on 7th MAY!

Off-track!

It's always somewhere close, It's always by my side, and it's always in my pockets too! That's right, it's my trusty $60 fresh out of 7-11 Samsung phone with a model number that is, till now, still completely oblivious to me! Not only is it scratch proof (tested in my army bag, even with army HARD gear!), Shock proof (Dropping it for the 200th time wouldn't hurt), Water proof (Now, how did that happen again? With my whole pants in the water and the phone still can beep?), Little-Cousin proof ("Eh kor kor you got Iphone?! Lend me lend me I want to play game", "Sure! My phone is actually dunno how many G one!", *after about 15 seconds of fiddling the phone* "Eeee don't want already, only got calculator and alarm clock!", and most of all Theft proof (Come and take ah! See whoever so poor, GIVE him also can) Ah look at that nice Sunflower i have for a wallpaper! Calming image to look each time, before I enter an SMS argument, or receive ever-so-frequent phone calls in camp about work work work... And oh that polyphonic Samsung ringtone i hear almost every morning! Which usually sends me on a blind violent rage to smash the phone immediately, but still i appreciate it each time, If not It's me who's gonna smashed if I'm gonna be late for work! I remembered once a few back, i told myself i wanted to throw my stupid phone away for all the annoying phone calls it brought me, but now when i think about it! My phone's gotten all quiet, and it's only use right now is primarily just an alarm clock, which occasionally beeps in messages asking me if I were free to go clubbing. I'm gonna have to change this baby soon though... Strong and hard as she may be, with a battery life of 5 days then a 2 bar? It's just not gonna win me a hot babe! BAHAHA nuts. just a phone. But somehow it made me think the whole day, about all the storms and hurricanes we walked through, the heat and the sweat we beared. It really made me think, that If only i could ever relate the phone to a real living person, braving through the same hardships together with me, standing proud and strong for what I am no matter what i have done, with an almost-blind, unwavering loyalty, no matter how bad the outcome, just as I once did for someone a long time ago. I've yet to find such a person! But the good thing is I havent given up hope! Just got to keep searching...

Sucks to be sick, again, on your off day!

Last night was amazing and horrible, Amazing in the sense I'm amazed that I still managed to stand through the whole day with a horrible running nose and flu without ever collapsing. Horrible by the fact i had to really control and STEER the floodgates in my nose have to hold and control it almost all the time to prevent sudden leakages! Worst part is the sneezing! Imagine having two stacks on clothes on both hands while you're on your way to put em back on the racks, then this lady drops by and asks you for help! You REALLY wanna help her, and you somehow you REALLY wanna sneeze at that moment! Really hard to keep these hot, teary eyes open as well! Plus the occasion mind-blocks you get when you're annoyed by the flu, suddenly forgetting what the hell you're doing! Fortunately this wasn't the first time working on a flu for me, back then while I was working in that chocolate shop, the same thing happened, and I had to wash dishes the whole day and sneezed like hell. Horrendous job. Next time was in Army when a stupid FAT store sergeant, manfred was his name I think, ordered me to get ready for the arrival of the platoon from their 28km route march at the waterpoint. I couldn't attend the March because i was already down with flu, and now this bugger wants me to wake up 12am for no reason, and wait downstairs for them to come. They only came around 4am, And i had to sleep out there on the cold hair floor with nothing but the water cans, so naturally, my flu got a whole lot worst the next day! Seriously wanted that fat man dead. Can never trust a fat guy if you ask me! This is what happens! Anyway that plus a few more other flu related instances! Fortunately yesterday wasn't too bad, bearable, but barely. The only motivation i had was "Okay this is for the stuff i wanna get! Can't give up now! 6 days till the end of the month 12 to payday! WORK!!!" I must sound like I always wanna buy something huh! Die.

Funny thing was when this Ang Moh lady, probably in her late 20s, asked, of all the people in the shop, ME, how a Wonderbra actually works excitedly while holding a pair of those silicon flaps and gesturing. The flu wasn't exactly helping my mind think straight, and I was desperately finding a way to escape! And that was when she accidentally dropped the two silicon pads onto the floor and then reached for them which then led to an OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY THATS BIG. But ANYWAY that's not the point! She asked me first if it could be washed or was it disposible, then she asked me how she should wear it! With that i held up the two cups in each hand up to my chest level.... and suddenly I ran out of words! How the HELL am I going to describe this?! "Oh wow well uh...." Fortunately she kinda DROPPED the topic and asked me something else. "Well then uh... what size do you think i should get?", Being a natural MALE of course, I looked down slightly... and "I think you should get the LARGEST ones", Finally giving up on the awkwardness! "Let me get someone who's uh, better suited to help you out for this!" and with that went to my lady boss to get down to the nitty gritty details. And it didn't really help that her brother or boyfriend was just standing there, looking EQUALLY intently at me for the answers I simply dont have!

Man thought about exercising today in the GYM and maybe going for a swim, but so much for that now thanks to the flu! Still thinking about whether i should go later on, but i think the answer's pretty obvious! Better to spend my off day locked up at home, than fainting in a smelly sweaty gym and embarrassing myself in a mighty fashion. Guess I might have to wait till Thursday to have a go

When were good Saturdays again?

Woke up with a funny feeling in my nose, as if a fly flew in and got stuck somehow, and it can't come out! Dahm this early morning flu feeling I always get before work! Thought it'll go away if i slept more, but somehow it still comes back to bother me every morning! Maybe becuase the air in my room's unhealthy!

6 more days till the end of April, and into the month of MAY. The month I've been eagerly waiting for! A chance to redeem what little remains of my own life! Shopping and what not! Hanging out with my old buddies, this and that. I'm thinking that rather than wasting my whole day daydreaming in the shop when no one's around, perhaps I should plan what I could do next month, more than what I should buy for next month! Been feeling abit purposeless, like a robot these few weeks, probably because the main reason why im working or toiling so hard is all for stuff i wanna get, rather than for living. However this should all end very soon once May 7th comes! Why do days always stretch longer towards the end hmmm?

Barcodes and more barcodes

Just when i thought the issue with stock-taking was over, oh gosh, now comes the big problems! So many wrong bar-code digits, end up I need to go and find one by one, to find the right one and write down. WAH DIE. Didn't know where to start also! So i spent the whole of my thursday digging into heaps of apparel and accessories, reading each and every set of 10 or more digits. almost blew up my mind! And it turns out one particular auntie's eyesight really got the better of her, so much so she couldn't tell the difference between a 3 and an 8. And she made that mistake 5 times! Thanks ah! Wah i mean somedays I've got nothing to do, but no need like that mah~ I'm good with manual labour, not numbers! And the endless number of barcodes i had to read... a hopeless finish, wah, really reminded me of a particular point in my life (which was actually just a few months back!) while i was still in the army. There was a week whereby the were shifting all the offices of the school and there was a room full of old documents to dispose. Naturally that stuff's classified so you can't exactly be ecofriendly and RECYCLE it, so we had to shred it, shred it all! With only one shredding machine... And i think it gave up on us within a day. So the next solution was to start a huge bon fire and burn all that crap! And so we did, barbeque style. For the whole of two weeks in camp, i did nothing everyday but BURN paper. burn burn burn burn burn. It was total madness. But unbelievable all that heat for two weeks actually did our complexion some good! Opening those bloody pores to sweat. And we had nice smooth skin for a day or so thereafter! Which quickly diminished after all the junk food that ensued. Anyway on the news those few days they reported a sort of "haze" in Singapore. honestly, I think i knew where that came from...

So tired OMG. I'm quite amazed with myself that I'm still awake somehow. Saw a pair of sexy EMPORIO ARMANI purple shades today, something I think I might neeeeeeeeed...

Waking up!

Stocktaking is a bitch. This is one of the few instances when I find that my life now consists of nothing but work and sleep, whereby I work really really late into the night, go back home to bed, and wake up straight to work again! We had to do the pre-counting of all the stuff in the shop after closing in preparation of tomorrow's stock-taking, and if you've ever been into a Ladies shop (like who hasn't?), you would probably know how messy that can be with all the stuff everywhere! And all the hidden stuff behind each rack we dig up frequently. "Oh! This is last year's model!" and we're all assigned to different areas with different stuff to count, after which had to paste this label on each metal arm of clothing to demarkate it. Anyway, somehow, and I don't know why, I ALWAYS end up doing the Women's Underwear. So I spent the whole hour or so counting a huge wall of Panties of all shapes and sizes, ranging from the really cute and pretty, to those even your great grandmother wouldn't wear, The really thickly padded ones that almost resembled those mummy poko pampers you see on TV, to those so transparent that really makes you wonder why ever to women even wear underwear at all? However if i HAD to choose a favourite out of that heap of mess, It'd probably be the red one with WONDER-WOMAN behind. To me the image of her flying forward with an arm outstretched and the strange japanese mumbo jumbo around her body somehow seemed pretty inspiring! Or probably she because she had the biggest rack in the whole marvel comic universe... Eitherways, honestly, I think wearing it would be really weird. If I imagined it correctly, If you wore the right way round... it would look at if she were flying outta your butt. Anyway enough with the underwear nonsense that went on in my head while i counted. I counted hundreds upon hundred of knickers till the very sight of one frightened me. Think I'd probably freak out if my future-girlfriend ever happened to wear one. "OMG could you please take that off right now?"

Anyway when the counting was finally done and all my mathematical capabilities ceased to function, it was time to go home again! Loooooong walks through city-link from Marina Square, Loooooong train rides back to Jurong MRT. Looooong walks from the MRT through IMM and finally to my home. A nice Loooooong shower, A bowl of grapes and a glass of milk before I finally climbed onto my bed hoping to dream of another 'Hawaiin Bikini-Babe-holiday', then the next thing, beep-beep-beep-beep! OMGWTF it's 6am already NBCB?! I snoozed through the first alarm with the phone still in my hand, trying to rest in DENIAL of the actual time. Finally the second alarm started to ring and it took me a pretty long while to finally summon enough strength to 'flop' myself off the bed, kinda like a fish out of the water. Gotta get to workplace by 8. Goddahm it where's the morale when there's no music! Nowadays I've decided to shower to party sing-a-long songs to keep my mind awake! Managed to reach on time, If not a little messy due to the rush. In order to be FAIR, we couldn't scan our items ourselves, so we had a fleet of Factory Aunties to do that for us while we assisted them. Fortunately mine was nice! AGAIN they all make the mistake that I'm malay ARGHHH. I have serious Ethnic issues! Why can't anybody guess my race correctly. PLUS my age. Desiree, a fillipino from Suntec thought I was 25... (when in fact she was really older than I am! By a year too.) Why? I look and dress very AH PEH MEH!? Haha oh well. Fortunately i was released earlier than usual today, at 4 30, for coming so early. Train ride home was uneventful, I was sandwiched in between two fat aunties, constantly dozing off (with my mouth closed thankfully!), and waking up periodically to amuse myself when i saw a bunch of army boys in front of me. The sadistic side wished for a black shirt with big white bold words "ORD, already, YOU KNOW?" Die all this work is making me enjoy even cheap thrills like this. Must find someway to balance my mind once again. Wanted to go jogging when i came home! but looked at the time! Can't jog on a full stomach and with sleepy eyes! ughhh. Guess I got to wait for another day.

Wouldn't it be great to date someone sporty? Great tan, Nice slim body, Sunny smile that always brings in the sunshine in every stuffy lonely heart? Awww. Somebody who's very image brings happiness? Hoho and would gladly accompany me for outdoor activities like sea sports? Canoeing? Swimming? Awesome. Ooooh a mindless obsession with only shopping trips all day totally kills the mood, like really a big fart in a crowded elevator. And all the places and things we could plan and do together! But hmmm does such a person actually even exist on this side of the continent? Well! Please pardon this lonely old man for daydreaming!

Sunday

Final Fantasy (PS3) is truly starting to get on my nerves. I feel like I'm doing the same dahm thing each time I put it on the TV screen. Every few minutes it's just bish-bish-bish-bish-bish-bish as you attempt to wipe out the unending supply of critters running around the TV screen! I can't believe i just burned an entire afternoon just doing that, with SOME satisfaction at least... till the game suddenly hanged on me and wiped out the entire afternoon's hard work. Just great. Maybe it's time to put down the controller a while and come back to reality!

Nothing to do on a Sunday Night? STALK ON FACEBOOK! Something I dont really do, but when i try to it's actually pretty (if not guilty) fun. GAHAHAH who's gonna stop me spying on some friends? OR all the other employees from all the other topshop/topman outlets out there in Singapore? Muahahaha and later when people ask me, I can always claim I did not! Who would know! Besides, even if all the self-righteous pricks out there tried to stop me, I wouldn't really bother. I'm bored, nobody stops me when I'm bored!

Normal life resumes in 19 days. I can go out again, be happy, hang out as much as I wish! But somtimes I really do wonder, after these 19 days, will I still be normal?

Slack

Today's the 18th! which mean 12 more days to go before the end of this dreadful month, though not the end of it all. But at least I get to see the results of this month's extreme STINGINESS. It had better pay off man! If not I'm going nuts. 7th or 8th of May calls for a good shopping day in orchard! Can't wait for the day when I finally have the time (and money) to walk around Ion orchard again, eat some decently good food for once in so many months as well! Clothes, Accessories and what not that I still need! May is also the month when SIM finally gets back to me, to either tell me whether they've accepted me or I have to rot on the streets for another year before it works out! Still! Gotta hope for the best! And I will need a new job for the month of July after my Thailand trip before school starts in August. At least that'll mean a chance to earn more cash for I start school! Still have to figure out what to do on this off day! Right now my mind's still not functioning properly without any food! First job today is to find some...

A nice break

After a few days of work, it'd always be great to catch a good breather, take the day off, do a good head to toe workout, run a few invisible round on the jogging machine, and get caught in the rain on the way home! Haven't felt this ALIVE since a few months back. If only i could find a way to FORCE myself to continue on this routine more thoroughly, that would be great! I can't stand the way i head to work sometimes completely out of the mood, and halfway through I'm already dozing off even while standing up! And life's like a dreadful wait till the day ends! Sweeping the floor and dusting the shelves appear to be my favorite "Pas-time", might as well make myself useful I thought, so i go about to sweep sweep sweep the shop from front to back and likewise the other way round. And when I'm finally satisfied a group of people will come on in and step step step step all over the place, just like mice. So AGAIN I'll have something to do once more. And I must say the way some women drop their hair... man. Even my dog didn't shed this much on the average day last time HAHAHA! There'd be clumps here and there and clumps with itty bitty things around sometimes? Ooooh man. Another dreadful thing is the makeup. Some people practically paint their whole faces with it, yet STILL look like trolls. but I'm perfectly okay with that, it's just that when they try on the clothes, and dont find a way to cover it up? Part of their inglorious face gets onto the material! Especially if it is BLACK. One made such a good imprint i could almost tell where her eyes and mouth were. And then there are those who we constantly tell NOTTT to try on the knickers (Women's Underwear) or bikini bottoms for hygiene purposes... but i dont know whyyyy they can still manage to smuggle on in and have a gooooo... and THEN when they come out of the fitting room they go "Nah, too tight for me sorry" and plop the thing into your otherwise fearful hands...

A few days ago we had a black out in Marina Square! One of the best things that ever happened to me on the job, it happened around 2pm to about 3 pm before they managed to restore the power (and thankfully I was on the morning shift wahahaha! Less hours~) So what to do if the whole shop's in the dark and you can see absolutely nuts? We chase everyone out, gather at the main entrance, sit down on the pedestal and start talking to one another. Man talk about a much needed bonding session. We were so bored we actually tried to do a one-round introduction to each other. "Hi my name .... " to people who we have worked with for a month or so already. My friends tells me about this iphone he found on the floor without a passcode and how long he took to reformat the dahm thing etc etc. wow. That is one free 1K ++ Iphone! Kinda like finding a gold bar on the floor. And man if I do ever get one, remind me to chain it to my body somehow.

Yesterday two stylists dropped by the shop again, to loan several items for a photoshoot. One of them I'm familiar with, because we've talked before. She's tall, with long hair, fair-skinned, slightly shorter than I am, and never out of nice clothes omggg... and man those cool rings all over her fingers, just like the last time. Definitely pretty. Only drawback is that she doesn't smile much, which, like my case, can be pretty intimidating! Ah what a pity I didn't get a chance to talk to her this time round oooooh, would have been so awkward in front of her friend man! Arghh how frustating. Sounds pretty childish and typical, but I've always wanted to meet and possibly hang out with someone who looks good and dresses up really really well, and at the same time seems pretty cool to be around! I never thought I'd see what I fancy exactly in person, but now to see it in the FLESH. Wow. Something I dont think I'll ever forget for quite a while! But I guess if I'm gonna try to be 'on-par' I still got alot of work to do, which is still in progress till next month. And i think the next time round? Screw the embarrassment, how much is my face-value worth anyway? I'll have to try to talk to her

What a life

Today the shop's a little emptier than usual, leaving me alot of free time and space to walk around and daydream about the stupidest things in life. What goes on in my mind constantly is usually the STUFF I wanna buy next month! And counting down the remaining days till the NEXT payday, Or what I'm gonna do at home later on! But usually, it's always about food food food, Ben and Jerry's Ice cream, Waffles, Dessert, Macdonald's double chocolate, Caramel Frappe, Azabu Sabo Ice cream desserts with mochi pieces... AHHHH! Especially after all the CRAP I eat each day, i end up craving for desserts more often than I would wish too! It's almost so bad, that when I see a fat woman in my shop wearing a Pinkish-cream coloured shirt, I'd start to see a huge scoop of strawberry ice cream instead. And those IRRITATING people happily eating their 70 cent Ice cream cones and Mcflurries when they walk past me while I'm doing the entrance! Oh how I'd stare at those for a moment before they zipped away with hurried footsteps back into the crowd. And how many time i had fantasized them into tripping and falling, with ice cream smashing into their faces. I think maybe it's all that MSG in the Maggi Mee that I've been eating for the past few days taking effect! I still gotta last at least 2 more weeks before I can finally REWARD myself with the cause of all this distress, MORE SHOPPING.

I realise time passes really quickly if you look forward to something each time. Like Thursday's a good chance for me to get a new haircut! Woohoo! can't wait. Friday and Saturday's my off day, probably should plan a hang out with the boys again! Sunday's the start of a new week! CLOSER to my end-of-the-month shopping spree. And thereafter it's countdown to payday once more! Oh gotta stay positive come on come on

Yet another monday

Man somehow I'm starting to feel more and more tired of work after each day, probably because I MIGHT have lost a little motivation for it, and because I haven't been eating good food! Days seem to go on longer than usual, I find myself with nothing to look forward to each time, and I'm beginning to feel myself eager to go home even before i start work! Oooh I have to pull through the next these two months somehow. Hopefully I get these sudden BREAD cravings out of no where and just wanna eat bread all the time, bread bread bread. Yesterday was my first try and cooking noodles at my workplace! It sorta worked! but the boiled egg I brought from home smelled pretty funny and the soup was pretty much tasteless! STILL I had to force it all down my throat to quench the hunger! Didn't really help when you see your friends all eating MACS around you! Let's hope today's one'll TASTE better, and not give me a quaking diarrheoa too!

Oh I need to get a new Facebook display picture soon too! Everybody'll just assume again that I fool around with women alot with that display picture, when actually they're my old close JC classmates! Still! Nobody listens. Nevermind. There goes my reputation, yet again! Maybe I should take one after i cut my hair again hoho! Can't wait to cut it.

Why am I hoping for the Impossible everyday? Still, at least it keeps me going.

Life's a party

Man I do I smell of Charcoal and burnt meat! Just came home from Wei long's 23rd Birthday party, and it was another otherwise awesome meet up with my old camp mates again. Somehow gathering together for things apart from work really does feel good! Just sitting around a table and banter about our life, what we used to do, and for those still in the army, what's new and ongoing! Have a couple of drinks (with me sitting out again, because in this world! there are just SOME people who are not meant to drink!) , get their faces red and talk about the silliest of things! Throw in some clubbing music (thump thump thump thump), barbecue food, all by the poolside and hey we have a party! For me somehow there are short moments when time almost actually slows down, and i look around the table at each and every face surrounding me, some of these guys I've been through hell and back with, some of these guys I've trained personally, and I start to think back about the very few moments we shared, whether it's hard and sweaty in the back of fast moving truck through the jungles of Thailand, The cold wet weather in Taiwan whereby we were getting our faces blasted by frigid water at high speeds, Climbing up and down those CRAZY high mountains in Taiwan, all while wearing brightly-colored yellow,white and pink $2 raincoats, running around like Pac-man with a huge bag! Our nights together when we're just dead tired, yet energetic enough to say the dumbest of things , and then we flash right back into the present and you see these same people now, having a good time! It's as if these moments just fade away when they're done, they happen every time we meet, and each time we see each other, there's just this very GOOD feeling that we get that's indescribable, and we're instantly comfortable no matter how long we haven't seen each other! After all we HAVE shared the same roof (and bathroom) for what? more than a year together? And we're all so familiar with each other temperaments even now. Man do i miss the whole lot of them. So glad i came.

So anyway after they blew the cake, we decided to throw the birthday boy into the pool! BUT though we took out his phone i think we forgot about his wallet and HAHA his cigarettes, which were soaking wet and he might as well have made tea out of them on the spot. LUCKY his blackberry got removed first... If not we might have to get another gift! Dahm. So anyway, I decided I sorta wanted to make myself useful, and give cooking a go, while those... lazy ass army guys were busy tasting and digging their fingers into my chicken wings. Did pretty good tonight, no raw wings or meat for the first time! Food's a little burnt sometimes but it's still edible! I should do this more often hmmm! Anyway apart from cooking, I had to juggle with the sound system at the party, playing tunes right out of my ipod and setting the mood for everyone, Hope i made a good DJ HAHA! Oh i think everyone else cared apart from my group. It's too bad all my songs aren't arranged properly, so i had to run in and out of the function room to change songs, and back to the barbecue pit, and back to the bench to eat and talk cock, then back into the room again for the next song. But it felt pretty good! At least to see everyone at the party having a good time. Then after a few cans of beer, the boys decided that it's time for some gambling, AGAIN. I'm quite glad that after two hours of play i still walked out with at least $5! Hmmm maybe i should take up gambling part-time, since I seem to be earning about the same at work HOHO! Crazy. This was the best night I ever had in months, hopefully we can plan a nice night out with the boys to chill again, like after work or something. That'll really boost my morale for the month of April. Go go april ooooooh, 27 more days of eating bread...

The Longest Road

The newspapers today talk about all the big protests and mess going on in Thailand, about the Red shirts storming the parliament and all that! Kinda unrelated to you definitely, unless you've already BOOKED a trip to Bangkok since last year, like I HAVE! Well then again it's not so bad, so far no much violence, just large crowds of people walking around, standing, making noise and unhappy remarks, and just being there for long loooong hours. Well why didn't they try looking for jobs in Singapore instead? It's just about the same when you think about it! Anyway so long as they don't suddenly decide that protesting is alot cooler with the aircon and air stewardesses and charge straight into the airport, or throw a grenade into every fast food joint they see, I suppose it's fine. and I suppose even if I bump into a huge protesting group, I might as well make myself useful. Rather than curse and swear at them with English profanities (... and later trampled by the hundreds of them) , I might as well join in you know? This is probably the one and only few chances for a SINGAPOREAN to take part in a protest you know. I better remember to pack one red shirt.

And today while I was doing the main entrance of my shop, this is probably the 26th time I caught myself staring at the well-formed ass of the woman working just next door. The shop's called DeadSea, selling beauty and skin products with supposedly minerals from the dead sea (which to me is really just table salt, really really expensive table salt...) and it's situated just beside another Skincare shop by the name of LivingNature. True enough by the names, The LivingNature wear no make up, and are usually tan-looking, whereas most of the DeadSea staff, with their otherwise hideous makeup and white uniform suits, really look like DEAD people. The LIVING and the DEAD as I'd always say as I gesture with my index finger, pointing at each category. So anyway while I said most of them looked like ghost or those hopping chinese vampires with a receipt stuck to their forheads, She has got the be the HOTTEST, CURVIEST ghost of them all! Like man i can really see the different segments of her top and bottom, seperated by a rather slim waist and ending off with a fine set of legs and a nice ass. And mind you, she's 'well-armed' on top too! Truly, the only thing worth seeing on a largely boring day when you're standing at the entrance. And MAN the way that she gestures, and serves customers in such a sexy manner, carrying all that BODY and jumping about. Woooohooooo I think I just broke my nose! And many days she had to wipe the Signboards in that strange white nurse-like uniform of theirs? Why does she always have to start from BELOW OMGGGG. Wah die already lah Weiyu, like that so distracted? How to get Service Star Award?! And a few days ago, out of her boredom, she suddenly starts doing some kind of sexy HAPPY DANCE in front of me. Just how much blood does a guy have in his nose before passing out? It's a pity to have to look at someone who's probably 5 years older than I am when I'm bored, but then again, when we think about it guys, all those naked ladies you see online are usually older than you tooooooo! Lets see if I can get through another month like this

One month down, Two more to go

Two more months before I return to the army! Three before I enter university (if they accepted me that is...) Then my life will go back to full throttle and move on! I dont expect my next two months to be any more eventful than the last? I'm already out of money which i have spent on my driving for this month, so I suppose I have to sacrifice some part of my social life to make up for it! The only thing keeping me going this time is the thought that 'if I dont learn to suffer now, how am I going to face the future', and strange enough, I sometimes think actually ENJOY the suffering.

Did alot of travelling today, first all the way to Bugis after an internet search on google for PS3 stuff! That crazy Final Fantasy 13 has been selling out faster than those Roti Boy buns when they first came out, and just before I got my pay! Fml. Fortunately after a few searches on the web I managed to find a nice joint where I could try my luck at getting my hands on it, located just beside two sleazy looking hotels mmmhmmm~ I couldn't help myself but peep in, even though it WAS in broad daylight, hoping to catch the faintest glimpse of something fishy buttt no, it's as clean as a hospital, though some rather suspiciously clad woman with heavily dyed hair was standing outside handing out flyers for I-don't-know-what. Should have taken one to see! Maybe she giving out tuition flyers! Anyway i think it's a bad idea for any woman with heavily dyed hair and rather revealing clothes to stand outside or loiter around a hotel 81 for so long, everybody's just going to assume that you might be a hooker you know. So yeah anyway! The point being, I managed to snag one copy of Final Fantasy 13 on the first try! Felt dahm good as if i just dug up some treasure from a somebody else's grave or something, and this baby's gonna have to keep me company and my morale up for the next month, so I'm really really counting on it. Geekish as I might sound, I dont really have much of a choice! If i need a reason to stay at home and save money, this is it! Though of course a new change in my life would be definitely be refreshing, maybe like getting a new job? Meeting someone new? Who knows, but i suppose this'll have to do for now.

Anyway most of mates from Marina Square are all about to leave after a month of working together! In a way it's quite sad because we had so much fun together, whether it's just day to day complaining about aches, pains, standing for hours, lack of sleep etc etc, or gossiping about people, customers, the girls next door outside our shop, even the mini-work place politics that would inevitably occur and go on? Even the guy i make jokes about is leaving! Now who can I laugh at! Well at least we'll see more new faces, some i might like some i might not. But i guess this may be the change of pace i need. And maybe the day-to-day happenings would be more eventful with new people.

Another month to see if i can survive with what little I have left! LEt's hope i fare better than the last. Maybe i wont have to sell my shorts this time round...

Payday's coming

Yup! In about an hour's time it'll be Payday! Finally all that standing, stand-sleeping, hundreds of otherwise-ignored greetings, and dealing with baby-ish customers is going to pay off! Though honestly I dont expect myself to get that much in the end! Maybe the next time someone asks me for a NEW PIECE I'll actually TRY to get one! Mmmm but i still have driving fees to deal with this month, so that practically chops my pay in half, unless of course i decided to totally give up on it? Which would be crazy. My dream of secrectly driving my dad's car out at night so funny places oooooh... Has to happen! Gotta work hard for that dream to happen though! So i suppose i'll probably be living on BREAD again for the merry month of May? Ah and pray that somehow i come up with a more interesting LUNCH MENU than the last, which almost killed me from poisoning (damned stale fried rice!) Sad thing about working here is that when you're tired, or REALLY tired, you tend to want to eat something hot and good, and some cold... soggy and DEFLATED bread. That's the only thing i can bring from home and the taste would still be roughly the same as i can imagine! Bringing stuff like fried rice or meat? After like 3 hours at my place when it goes cold, even the chicken starts to taste like fish! And dont even start with the vegetables! They became inedible the moment they left the wok and came in contact with the air! Ronald Macdonalds already has one hand in my pockets, and I DESPERATELY need to find a way to pry it out! he'll grab more than just my money~

Travel fares to Marina Square can be quite a bitch. Even though I WALK to the MRT almost everyday (unless i happen to be late!), and it takes me about 15 minutes to get there under the hot sun or drizzling rain, the fees to and fro would still cost me about 3 bucks everyday! But the suckiest feeling EVER, comes whenever you tap your card and the doors won't open, and instead this mocking RED LIGHT starts flashing in your face. And Somehow in my head I always hear this sarcastic voice coming out of the machine "AHAHAHA~ No money~ No Honey~ TOP UP TOP UP" And then I wonder if I could actually WALK to marina square instead... if so then I better start walking now, might still be able to punch in early. Hopefully the money IS sent into my ATM like the guy over the phone said! If not i'd have to get a cheque all the way from KOVAN, and i STILL have to wait for the bank to process it thereafter if that's the case how stupid! Think i shall go check now...

Work work...

How many days in a row have I been eating MacDonald's Fillet O Fish extra value meal already?! Man there goes the HEALTHY LIFESTYLE I once envisioned in my head one Tuesday afternoon after looking at a poster featuring a really muscular man, holding a carton of Milk in his right hand and a thumbs-up in his left. After a brief moment of trying to picture MYSELF in the poster, I wanted to try eating more Healthily for a start! It worked at first, started to drink more water, eat more NATURAL stuff, till my otherwise incurable chocolate-addiction took over and i started stuffing myself with cakes and ice cream after a mere two days. Dahm. And now at work! It's FAST FOOD everyday omg. Mainly because somehow it's just about the same price as the Chicken Rice Set upstairs in Marina Square Food Court?! Maybe i should start bringing BREAD to work again to save money also...

Thankfully time really does pass faster in an aircon environment filled with office ladies and occasionally some university students ^^, And definitely a nice change from a hot, sweaty, over-dressed environment somewhere in the midst of the Singapore wilds, where the endless battle with the Aedes Mosquitoes continue. Mondays and Tuesdays are wonderful days of peace and quiet, whereby i spend probably half my time sleeping with my eyes open, no customers, not much to do, wonderful... can do my own stuff, or at least that's really just... stuff i can choose to do... like housekeeping and cleaning. Fridays and Saturdays can feel like HELL sometimes, standing at the entrance of the shop to greet the all those people coming in and going out? I'm quite surprised that my Jawbone is still intact. Then again that's when all the babes come in! But oh! Count to five seconds after each one and you'll definitely find this creepy, or geeky looking GUY following behind, keeping himself a 25-metre radius away, just soooo we can painstakingly enjoy those little little moments when she's alone (and when he's not looking HAHA!) OH Sadness! I feel like a loser almost everytime! But still it's pretty funny to hear what your OTHER colleagues have to say. Today when a chinese woman looking as if she tied two ripe Papayas to her chest walked in, the girls were pretty fascinated by them, and one even daringly approached her JUST to ask if they were REAL, and later on how they were uh... cultivated. Sure enough, even though she said they were REAL, I didn't believe her. Like, Come on man, I've played with Balloons and plastic footballs as a kid, you can't fool me. Plus you're CHINESE, and you're holding on to the arm of a one bloody big-sized, rich Ang Moh playing by cash for your three $100++ pieces?! Wonder if he paid for that investment on your chest in cash too hmmm? But that one maybe by NETS lah hor.

So another boring Sunday it was! Everything's rearranged and all over the place, so I'm back to square one, especially after a 2 day break? All the clothes dunno where to put again oh gosh. Wonder if they're gonna rearrange it anytime soon! They can't keep doing this to a guy with already very bad, short-term memory!

Don't you just love big Gatherings?

And so the merry month of April begins! Two good things about it is that there are plenty of birthday invites and gatherings to look forward to, as well as my very FIRST payday since army. It's amazing how to realise what a horrible person I really am, to have planned how to spend before the money even materialises in my ATM account! And each night whereby I constantly DREAM of that very moment, with me pressing my 6-digit pin no. to check my new savings balance wahahaha~! Such joy. But let's just hope it's a decent enough sum to last me the next month and give me abit of shopping space, and maybe a chance to catch some movies at least. I spent most of the month of MARCH toiling away brainlessly like an ant, and at home, hugging my tv just to save money! My own social life went down the drain completely, and i havent been able to dig it back out ever since! It was only when I watched the CLASH OF THE TITANS today with a few friends that im faintly reminded of my old, more bustling life. Guess that always happens on the first month of work don't it? Man I really miss the old days of roaming around town and ION for the food gallery, Mochi and Marvelous Cream followed by window shopping and movies with my buddies.

Today was Connie's 21st, and I must say a she invited a crazy hell lot of people to her house (which could barely even fit half of them!), all of her friends, all the way from secondary school, JC, poly, etc etc, PLUS her family members cousins etc etc etc, so i faintly counted at least maybe 40 different-sized heads? Can finds all sorts of Ah Beng, Abang, and Aneh there too, and most of them are dancers from dancegroups too, hence the caps, baggy shirts and really low pants. I think halfway through some of them started breakdancing and popping out of no where? So hey there's great food and free entertainment too if you didn't mind! I know i didn't, I was busy stuffing myself with spaghetti and ooooh good good glorious BACON HAM. I think i must have shamelessly swallowed half the bowl without much of a second thought. Another part of my evil mind was telling that since it was non-halal, I should do a better job in helping the host finish it. Anyway the theme of the party to was to dress up in PINK (our lovely host's fav. colour!), so YUP while i was waiting for the lift down by the void deck i could tell who was going to attend! Sadly though i had nothing particularly in PINK in my wardrobe, so i guess i sort of spoiled it coming in a green top, but at least I'll be easy to spot in the photos yes? So much for positivity. Anyway with that huge army of pink wearing people upstairs and downstairs, you'd probably that they were rallying for the Singapore Breast-Cancer Society if you were a stranger! Later on I was pretty amused by how two horrible bimbos were busy fussing over some polaroid photos (which my host-friend had only in VERY LIMITED amount.) We were all only supposed to take ONE photo with the host and as a group if possible to save on it because they were expensive? I guess those two just the camera would spit out a never-ending supply of photos, because they kept taking and taking and taking, "Eh not nice!", "Eh why behind got people one", "Eh alamak take with me leh?","Eh new pose new pose come come". And a group of us watched in utter horror as the clicked the film away. Of course the photos not nice lah wah lau! Ugly means ugly... You think take a hundred times maybe the chemicals inside the polaroid camera will react will change your face into Megan Fox? Anyway then we started the Birthday song, which was really really LOUD and lively. one of the BEST I've ever seen honestly. I would equate it to a concert haha! But most of all I really liked Connie's Dad, he was a really sweet and cool guy, really playing along well with his daughter? Wonder if I could do half of that as a dad myself in the future hmmm. Anyway as i went back to my old 'hangout' spot, I was AMAZED to still see the two idiots clicking away with the polaroid camera. Then, oh! Finally they stopped! Oh well mainly because the last two rolls of film ran out, featuring only them inside. Maybe they never been to a neoprint booth? My deepest condolences. What's more they decided they should keep all the photos themselves, and dumped all the ugly ones in the bin... just beside the camera... way to go Singapore! We should really review our country's average IQ and EQ standards again. And then I'm greeted by my host's otherwise upset and depressed face "OMG did they just use up all my film taking themselves and then keeping all the photos?! Those are bloody expensive and i need them to paste in my book!", "Yeah! and now they're going to eat your cake! STOP THEM!" Personally I'd feed them the candles if I were her, but still, it was supposed to be a HAPPY day, and they are guests so... yeah! Anyway I left the party shortly thereafter, happy for my friend! And I'm sure despite all that mishap, it must have been really touching to see all her friends, and so many of them! Happy Birthday!

A short introduction is necessary?

This man is a simple one. Age 20, going on 21 in a matter of months time. His life revolves around his collection of Music and clubbing hits, his PS3 (which he hugs to sleep), art (In almost any sense, Sensibly speaking), Money (something we all DESPERATELY need!), Fashion, Shopping and clothing (Which he buys almost Impulsively), and maybe some cooking (Though he still can't quite seem to put a finger on it now, and still risks exploding the whole family kitchen.) as well as Sports, preferrably sea sports. He also enjoys making silly remarks about everything and everyone around him at anytime. And, as a result, it's not uncommon to find people throwing things at him, which he finds okay, because he can dodge pretty quickly :)

Finished his NS, waiting (impatiently) to further his studies in University. Currently working (or really just trying to make himself look useful) in Topshop/Topman @ Marina Square. His new year resultion to come to work on time isn't quite working out by the way, but still hopes the company will pay him good. Dealing with life issues often gives him a mild headache. Dealing with Women gives him a full-blown migraine.

Wants to be as HOT as Antonio Banderas someday too.

Okay maybe not.