Sunday, May 23, 2010

Mussels for Muscles and Oysters for eyes

SALES. IS. KILLING. ME. Ughhh that plus an impending cold that's constantly knocking on my door, asking me to let it in. But I won't! But that goddahm virus is making me feel extra cold after meals and during work, so much so sometimes i find myself shivering for no good reason. And just how much do women worship SALES seriously OMG. When i opened the shop yesterday and today, it didn't take longer than 5 seconds for people to start rushing in and sifting through my racks of clothes! "Shuck-Shuuuuck" And "Plunk---!" Bloody hell use hand to move clothes also need so much force that my hanger fly into the sky wah piang eh. Auntie ah Auntie no one to steal your size 16 from you why you worry? And I dont know what these people step on nowadays, all that CRAP just gets stuck to my floor and i have a hard time trying to mop them out. And when i do, and it's a little wet, more of those pesky long-haired, sale-hungry wenches come in through the door and step all over my hard work! Back to square one... mop mop mop. Then some auntie decides not to look at the floor even once to check if it's wet or not, and while on top does a 360 degree ballet turn, then walks zig zag across my wet floor. Fuck man, I put OIL on the floor then you know! YES cleaniness is my code, my imperative! I cannot stand the very shop I'm working for being looked upon as filthy and inaccessible, I like my shop to be pleasing to the human EYES! That is why I clean Topshop Marina Square with a fierce passion unlike any other. Who cares about the slightly bad sales? Or some of the bossy pricks that walk through? They are stepping on my floor and using my goddahm fitting rooms, and as long as I am here, I'm going to make this the CLEANEST topshop, ever. And by the way it's just Topshop. Topman... you all settle yourself wahahaha! Since you all always so free can stand by the counter shake leg huaha!

5 more days in Topshop before I before my short career break. A breath of fresh air, and a breath of the old one too. It'll be back to pasir laba camp, back to my home, my recreational room, my 12pm pool sessions in the mess with my mates! My old unit, and to be greeted by my new one! which is thankfully house just one block away oh gosh. It'll be fun definitely. CLUBBING on wednesdays if I can help it! I sure hope not much has changed with them, be really good to see all of them again even though i orded barely just 3 months ago. Oh hope hope hope.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

A look in the mirror

Woke up at 9am in the Morning, Feeling as if i were half drunk, but still managed to gather what remained of my wits to drag myself to the bathroom for a good cleanup! It's the usual end-of-the-week feeling i get on each off, as if, wow, haven't been working out for quite sometime hmmm! Time to get your ass off the couch boy, hit the gym, and do some running! Maybe get a swim too! Or so I told myself. Little did I know what's wrong with my body today. I just finished the sit up and i went onto the treadmill, confident as ever! For the first Kilometre i could still breathe through my nose perfectly without much effort, and while i was running my head was watching Channel new asia on a suspended tv set. Like so stylo, can watch tv and run. Chicks would just dig that BAHAHAH. But anyway as I hit 1.6km I started to feel this HUGE burning pain erupting from my stomach, I have never felt that before, but it was strong and unlike much of the pain you'd expect to experience after a run! I thought maybe i could get over it and continue, but then it started to get worse, and i capped myself off at 2km before i decided my body was a no-go for today. And the moment I stopped running! The small matchstick flame erupted into a forest fire. I could barely force myself to stand straight before hurrying myself into the toilet, where i finally couldn't bear with the pain any longer and just clutched my stomach in front of the sink. But no matter what I did the pain just wouldn't subside, so I just gripped my stomach tightly and held on for what seemed like dear life! OMG as if I had just been shot by a bullet or something, or some big bully just gave me an unforgivable punch in the abs, and there i was sprawled on the floor. Now I think I know what being a WOMAN with PERIOD actually feels like! Gosh that sucks. Took me about a good 25 minutes before i could stand up properly and walk out of the toilet. Dahm what is wrong with thy body? Guess I'll have to pass the swimming today. Even WALKING gave me the aches.

It's 16th May! And where is my SIM admission letter oh gosh. That's been keeping me on my toes for weeks, something which I've been really looking forward to and it has been keeping me on my toes. I would pretty much just love to have the confirmation! Like something to ease my mind off the many many different issues i already have. Ughh as if work isn't enough. But strangely work seems to be getting more and more bearable! Like my workplace is sort of my second home. I get uncomfortable without it, and I feel natural amongst the shelves and the racks of clothes, I laugh and joke about more with the other staff, and that pretty much makes my day. Time flies by really fast too! Probably because i have much MUCH deeper pockets than last month. Yet somehow, I feel i still need a breath of fresh air from all this work, like maybe a change of pace for a while, would be healthy.

Everyday I watch the Topshop/Topman staff at work, and everyday I listen to their tiny bickers, experience their small conflicts. And then I realise how hard it is not to get myself Involved in any of the disputes of unhappiness. How on earth can one simply not have an opinion of his own? Still I guess I shall choose to keep to myself and ignore everything that doesn't involve me, and it BETTER not involve me haha! Neither do I want to influence them in anyway, everybody has to learn to make decisions and choices, be it right or wrong. And they will only learn through the consequences. But honestly I think someone is beginning to step over the line... And if it gets too far, I might have to snap his neck. Still, lets not hope for that. I appreciate all my colleagues, I need all of them, and I would hate to sever our good work relations.

Conversing with my friends over dinner, I started to realise something about myself. My conversations are beginning to take on a more superficial stance. I talk about clothes more, I talk about fashion, dressing, other people's dressing etc etc. Stuff I dont usually talk about a year back. I talk about retail, buying things and what to get next, how I'm to save up next month to get what not, things that dont really matter in the big world out there. I'm becoming increasingly more vain, I bother more about looks than usual, and not my character. Gone are the days when I used to talk and sing of love, living, friends, going out etc etc, oh how I miss them. I dont want to get involved TOO deep into the fashion world, lest, like some real life examples I've seen, and whereby they can arrogantly proclaim their self-styled, 'unparalleled' fashion sense verbally and mentally, so much so that if you place a mirror before them, they would've forgotten what they used to look like before, and oblivious to what they looked like now. People tend to think about what they would think about themselves when they look in the mirror. But they tend to forget what others would think about them, and that is what really mattered. I dont want to have to "wake-up" from that kind of bad-dream, and when the self realisation starts to kick in it'll be painful. So I'm thinking maybe sometime away from Topshop/Topman would be nice, not permanently, but just some time away. What's the use of dressing up myself so nicely, yet I can't speak well, care about, or connect with others? I might as well replace one of the mannequins in the shop.

And here's a toast to your ever-dusty Love life Weiyu! Busy as you may be at work, and ever ignorant when you are doing so, may you STILL continue your search and find the right one for yourself! And good luck with that! Find not another tramp, harlot, vixen or a shrieking harpy. Find one whom you can connect your soul with, even if you weren't in a hurry to do so. YAM SENG.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Work as usual

It's 12th May! Still surviving! Still breathing and definitely feeling more alive than I did last month with my new pay, which leaves me more breathing space for choices and many many different motivations to get me through the month, like maybe getting something at the end of the week! Or hanging out with my friends for a movie, gaming, whatever! At least now I know my off days aren't gonna be spent stuck at home all the time! But if I actually WANT some savings, I still gotta save big time! Wouldn't wanna have holes in my pocket at the very last week like last month! What a joke.

Today some UK visitor is supposed to drop by Topshop and Topman for a look, that means the higher management is also coming down, and thus for the past 2 days I have done nothing on the shop floor except scrub the racks and shelves, scouring all manner of dirt and dust from the face of the earth! Frankly speaking most people would mistake me for a hired, cheap cleaner if not for my uniform and lanyard! All my 7 - 8 hours dedicated to cleaning, armed with a tiny pathetic pink and white checkered piece of cloth in one hand, a small green pail in the other, and a bottle of GIF stain remover. This shows how much it really PAYS to be an Ang Moh in singapore too. Just say you're coming, and the whole lot of us will scramble all over the place and tidy everything up for you. And when you finally appear, we will kiss your feet endlessly and worship you. Step into any room and you instantly become the centre of attraction! Way to go singapore! The place where things are done just to impress Ang Mohs. Anyhow i dont really bother if she thinks the shop looks like a pigsty, I'm not cleaning the shop for another 2 days after this seriously! I'm not all about scrubbing!

Friday, May 7, 2010

It's Payday!

I'm up early, I'm excited, the stuff I've been waiting for for MONTHS is finally within my grasp in a a few hours time! No more will I have to walk to work in a gloomy manner with my head hanging low, knowing I've got nothing to look forward to except... well, maybe MORE work to come. No more will I eat bread in a painful manner, wondering if it is all worth it, but with a great big sadistically SATISFIED smile! No more will I spend my days doing painful countdowns to this moment! Today onwards I shall walk on the CLOUDS, and display fierce ARROGANCE, unmatched and peerless, as I walk the streets! Today I will walk around with a golden crown studded with jewels on my head! And look down on all the other lesser-beings with such scorn that only SLAVES would receive! And wherever I go, a TRAIL OF FIRE WILL FOLLOW! And when I'm finally done dramatizing the whole day! I shall rest my head on my pillow, comfortably, knowing that the POSB account is finally safe and stabilized! (or actually just has some money inside!) And I don't care what you might think! If you happen to chance upon me on the streets, all you will get a firsthand glimpse of my impressive nostrils wahaha. And know that if this disgusts you in an impressive fashion, I don't really bother! Pathetic human scums.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

MAYDAY

I'm beginning to enjoy working once again! Or at least, GOING to work. Because each day i work, time flies by, and I know I'm one step closer to the grand prize... I can walk on with my head high, and not a care in the world! So long as I always have someone to talk to! These few days are filled with mixed blessings, with each day getting more exciting than the next? Man I really don't know what to expect.

First off it's my amazing lunch-box theft case! I used to pack my food in plastic and paper bags to work, but they kept tearing, and to save myself those embarrasing moments of having to hug my food in an awkward manner all the way for the train ride, i reluctantly had to use my Red FILA shoe-bag to stuff it all in. It was a great idea! I mean so far so good! Nothing bad ever comes out of it, maybe only a slightly bad smell... Ooops! Anyway, just this one day I had to use the citilink loo for a quick piss, so i left my shoebag at the sink, specifically, BEHIND the hand drier so no one could see it from outside, and you'd have to really turn your head to the right upon entering to see it. I was done about 30 seconds, unzipping, zipping and all, and when i came out the shoebag was simply... gone! So fast! I checked with the cleaners outside, they said they didn't see it! Man even david copperfield couldn't do it that fast, he always had to make a 45 second long speech or hand gestures before he did anything! Stupid loser ran so fast with my shoebag that he probably didn't even think through what was in it! Just because it's, you know, heavy, abit out of shape, doesn't mean it has something expensive? Honestly I would love to see the guys face when he opens it. Inside, my water bottle, and my lunchbox for the day. So much for the adrenaline rush and anxiety to get away huh pal? All you get is a good deal of rice and chicken, courtesy of Momma-Chen. Yeah F-Y-L. Basket. Honestly what pisses me off the most is that, I'm trying to save money, and that's a nice decent meal i'm about to have in DAYS. I ate BREAD for DAYS. And just when i get RICE and CHICKEN hot from the Kitchen you steal it away! And not just that! I know you're not going to find it useful, and after you steal my good stuff, you're probably just gonna throw it away! THAT i cannot accept. That mofo had better tried to eat it at least. and EAT THE VEGETABLES! Christ how many times have i fantasized swinging a baseball bat into his imaginary face already, or drowning him in the toilet bowl. That'll really give me some satisfaction! And goddahm it it's my mom's favourite lunch box, which she reluctantly lent me that very day. I felt so bad, i had to call her on the phone to tell her her lunchbox got stolen. I'm going to hunt him down, seriously.

Anyway cut the hair today, my usual stylists out of town for two weeks! Gonna miss her, so today i got a cut from a new guy. It looks a little different from the usual fare, in terms of my fringe now being really short, and my sides looking better! Let's hope for the best in a few days time, now it's really nice, slick and tidy!

Then on my way to work, the very last part before i walked into Topshop, why did it so happen for me to get that sudden big blast from the past that was long overdue. That green bag slung over her shoulder? That untied, shoulder-length hair I was so familiar with once, over a year ago? That same empty look with the eyes all over the floor or the phone? That same empty look I had fooled myself into believing back then. That very face I have not seen for a year, and can barely even remember, yet it was unmistakable. Fortunately for me the moment passed so quickly I didn't have any time to react or decide to react. I just walked forward, onward to work, onward to my new life. And fortunately for me there was little for her to recognise me by, with my hair, and my shades and other tiny personal effects which pretty much contrasted what i looked like a year ago. And amazing for all the hatred, fear, and repulsion i imagined to have arose from that very moment all along, It never materialized. I just felt empty, nothing, only the need to be on time. Perhaps it wasn't worth the effort, perhaps it just didn't matter. But it was a strong reminder to myself to keep walking on, even with these bloodied feet. I know that I have moved on, And I will never look at the floor again. So much out there to see when you look forward.